I Long For the Day

In My Mind
A Poem By: Me

In my mind I pictured myself
standing there
breathing the air
sensing the heartache
smelling the distant fragrance of honorable death.
Some graves are empty
yours isn't
and I am thankful.
The ground around is green,
with flowers
from tears watering it into life.
In my mind I picture myself
standing there with tears in my eyes
and an overflowing heart.
Your body lays
but your spirit does not.
I will see you again someday.
Maybe tomorrow,
maybe 30 years?
But now in my mind
I picture myself standing there
longing you'll tap me on the shoulder
grab my hand
and away we'll fly into yesterday.
When you were here
revving up the engine of that old motorboat.
But for now in my mind
I picture myself standing there
with an armful of flowers
and tears in my eyes.
The sky, grass, trees, birds, or bugs
can't put life into these graves.
But a song from the heart
lifted high
can be heard in the heavens.
Where you now stand
waiting with the Lord Jesus for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A poem for my grandpa who died a little over 3 years ago now. It makes me sad that I didn't get to know him as well as I would've liked to. He was a great man who loved and was loved by many! He was aspiring to become a professional baseball player and he was so close to reaching that goal when he enlisted into the military to serve his country bravely fighting in the Korean war. Even though I took his presence for granted he never stopped loving me. Now I look back on the phone calls I could have spent five more minutes talking with him, asking him about his childhood, or even just to write a letter, moments that I wish I could have a second chance with. He was an amazing grandpa, and I miss him everyday. I wrote this poem when my grandma sent pictures of his gravestone in the military cemetery where his body now lays. But I know one day I will get a chance to sit down with him in heaven and chat. And oh how I long for that day!I love you gramps!!

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope that you comment your thoughts on my poem. And I am so sorry guys I haven't written a blog in about a month! This probably wasn't what you were expecting but I hope you enjoyed it anyways!! :D

It makes my heart melt

So this past week has been absolutely amazing!! I have really missed Caitie you guys don't even understand. We have been best friends since we were in diapers, even though we were both in diapers till we were 13 ;) (but we don't about that much). I must say bike riding 20 miles, and walking a ton is really making me muscular. Hehe. Well as I was on Brighten (the band) Myspace page today, and they have links to their blogs, so me being the curious me I went to each blog, and on Justin's blog I found this...

I love you enough to give you the world.

Dig through every oyster on earth for a perfect pearl.

Stitch you sweaters, so you won't be cold.

Love you like you're young when you're growing old.

I love you enough to give you my jacket.

Give you my money, I don't need it, have it.

Give you my heart, and everything I own.

Give you marble when you're used to stone.

I love you more than your favorite pet.

More than your spouse, that you haven't met. V

Enough to swim across the ocean wearing cement shoes.

God loves you more than I do.

Doesn't this just touch your heart? Because it touches mine, probably because it is so true. I don't think anyone could put it in simpler, yet complex, obvious, yet unique, plain, yet so beautiful, unprofessional, yet so poetic, imperfect and perfect all in one! What I am saying is the way Justin puts Gods love so straight forward but still your thinking "I never have thought about it like that" but probably that's just me. Heh. I just love the way this is so true, and people don't even realize, God's love is so pure and perfect, God's love is deep, passionate, intimate, yet so real and in your face as it can get. I find myself living day by day forgetting why I call myself a "Christian", I mean why do I call myself a Christian?? Because it is the only way to heaven?? Because it looks good on a resume?? Because it makes me feel like a better person?? Or maybe it's because it's what all my friends are doing?? (Though probably not!!) I mean think about it, if you call yourself a Christian (Baptist, Lutherans, Seventh Day Adventist, Methodist etc. whatever) why are you what you say you are, truly deep down, that moment when you excepted Christ (if you really did) it's because of his love, and how he expressed it on the cross. Jesus didn't have to do what he did, but he did it anyways he gave his absolute all for EVERYONE who was and is going to be. Yet still day after day I have to try to remember to have at least 10 minutes quiet time. And I think to myself "Why is that??" why should I have to force myself to spend time with a God who WANTS to know me, who WANTS to spend time with me and I being the selfish me, I just don't care. I should feel honored to know there is a somebody...a BIG somebody who wants to know me, spend time with me, and who wants to be my best friend. I have been thinking about this for a long time, and when I read Justin's blog it sparked something in me, that really helped me see again why I call myself a child of God (a.k.a Christian). God is not a mean glowing being with wings just sitting up in the clouds ready to smite sinners, He is a loving God who really does WANT to know us!! So I encourage you just examine your heart right now and ask yourself..."Why am I a Christian." because for me personally I find myself being a "Christian" for all the wrong reasons. When God just wants us to know him and he wants to love on us. I dunno, that's what I have been thinking about lately.

Mainly this blog was for Christians, but I also hope that if you are not a Christian, or if you don't know Christ that somehow you know that Jesus really just wants a relationship. Well I have been doing many things here and been on the go go go, so I haven't had much time to write. Hope all of you are doing well, and really hope you will comment to AT LEAST let me know you read it. Maybe that's too much to ask. Well goodnight everybody have a lovely evening, or maybe its morning, or lunch, or whatever the case may be I hope its lovely. :D

Beautiful Day

Today was awesome!! Caitie and I biked 12 miles it was insane!! She's whining about her calve's, I guess I'm
not feeling the burn as much as she is, I must be more in shape then I thought (haha)!! Well riding listening to music, listening to nature, feeling the wind on my face, the sun, the birds, just everything combined was perfect today. I haven't biked in so so soooo long and it was so much fun today. Caitie and I biked around this lake (Lake Harriot) which was absolutely gorgeous!! I dunno just being here is so surreal, it's been a year since I have seen Caitie and it's awesome catching up! I don't think you guys really care about all this stuff, but all I can say is I am going to be so buff after biking 12 miles ever day! FEEl THE BURN!!! OH!! And after biking we decided to take a break and get a ice-cream we made friends with the two boys working there. Caitie and I decided we are going to get super tight with them before our time is up. Not JUST to get free ice-cream ;) That's all I have to say for now. Everyday is going to be a new adventure!! I will keep you posted!
P.S. Dad you are not going to enjoy this bad news. I don't enjoy it either, but as we were eating lunch at this place by the lake I dropped my I-Pod and it broke :'( I basically cried. Yes I am a baby. Ok bye now.

Happy Fathers Day

Yesterday was Fathers Day and unfortunately I could not be there to share it with my Dad. But dad you know I would've worked up some crazy Happy Fathers Day song, buy you a pack of ball cards, take you to the park, and eat some lunch while we play guess the ball player (and battle ship would def finitely be in there some where ;D )! I love Mother's and Fathers Day because it gives us a chance to see what our parents do for us! Dad your great, and you have been great at teaching me how to drive I really appreciate all you have done.

To all you other dads out there keep going, fathers have a hard job in the family, being the rock, the Mr. Fix-it. Not all dads have the gift of fixing things, but many have those strong arms and love in their hearts to love on there kids! You have to handle all the moms going through pregnancy with crazy cravings, mood swings, and all that jazz. Dads thanks for just being a dad, so for all you dads who have stuck through all the hardships that come along with being a parent congrats, and thank you so so so so much!!



HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!

Comfort

Today as my dad and I listened to the radio on the way to the airport we heard the most bizarre story. The story really got me thinking about how people will do almost anything for comfort. I think all of us to some level do things to be comfortable like air conditioning, warm blankets, cushy bike seats, comfy shoes, clothes, the list goes on and on. Comfort is not a bad thing it is definitely a bonus to living in this day and age where we have things that help us be comfortable. But then there are some people who go to the extremes to make sure they are in the most comfortable environment/state they could possibly be in. One example of this would be what golfers know as the "Jelly Boy". The Jelly Boy is a person who covers themselves in jelly and follow around a golfer so the mosquito's will bite himself instead of the golfer. "How ridiculous!" you might be thinking, which was exactly my first reaction when I heard that too! Who would take a job like that?? Was my second thought! Well I guess if you are going to get malaria why not get paid for it right?!? A way that Allison and I like to stay comfortable on airplanes is we make as much of a ruckus, and be as annoying as we can so no one will want to sit between us (it works 98% of the time)! It is a fact that people go to great lengths to be comfortable, which in all cases is not bad, some are just plan silly. And if you really think about it is actually quite silly what we will do to be comfortable.

We live in such a materialistic age, and in a world where we feel everything should be about "ME ME ME!!!". We are willing to put other people into discomfort for our own comfort. I definitely struggle with only thinking of myself sometimes and is something I have been working on, and hope to break free of my selfish thinking. I feel that the world might turn a little smoother if we all could realize that this world does not revolve around just himself, there are 60 billion other people out there trying just as hard as you to find your place in the world. Next time you feel uncomfortable in any way (emotionally, physically, mentally) just take a deep breath and try to have a positive attitude. With a positive attitude almost anything can be "comfortable". If you live in America, or have a house with heating, cooling, a bed, indoor plumbing, and electricity etc. you are way above the average person in the world, so many of us (especially myself) can be very selfish, so lets to something to change that! Life is only what we allow it to be. So today go out with a positive attitude, and live today as today and let tomorrow worry about itself. :]

Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Leaving

Well this week was probably one of the funnest weeks ever! (Besides last summer with Caitie) And now looking back on all I fit into the 24 hours each days contains is crazy! And I had a blast with EVERYONE, and am going to miss you all very very very much! I hope you all continue on reading my blog even though I am gone. I love you all, and thank you guys for being awesome!! So I leave for Minnesota tomorrow and I am verrrrrry excited!! MOMMA HERE I COME! But to leave you all with smiles on your face here is a picture of my dad, Emily, David, and me.

I'm the little one in the hat! (I still can fit it!) and I think you can figure out the rest. Hehe. Well farewell!! :D I will write a blog tomorrow if I have time!

Juno: Good or Bad?

Christian reviewers have taken a critical view of the movie Juno. For those of you who haven't seen it the movie is about a young girl (Juno) who is pregnant, confused and wants to have an abortion. When Juno arrives at the abortion clinic a young girl (Su-Chin) is standing outside protesting against abortion. After the encounter with Su-Chin Juno decides against abortion. After making the decision to not have an abortion Juno decides to place her baby up for adoption. The movie then follows the ups and downs of Juno's pregnancy and the adoption process. Not to ruin the ending for those that haven't seen the movie but scene in the hospital showing Paulie Bleeker and Juno as confused teenagers is powerful. It is important to note the movie does not show the teenagers going on with super-duper lives after the birth and adoption of the baby.

The magazines "Plugged In" and "Brio Girl" say Juno does not have a realistic ending, and two friends go back to normal teen-hood. I agree with the magazines that the movie is not a accurate representation of how pregnancy and adoption work. But the Juno story is very uplifting that shows teenagers they can choose life over abortion. I believe Focus on the Family misses that point. In the magazine "Brio Girl" it says Juno shows that pre-marital sex pregnancy is a fun adventure for teens. For a non-Christian movie I feel Juno is a very encouraging movie for girls and boys. The movie shows a girl who can make it through a pregnancy and a boy who doesn't run. This is important because so many times young men bail on the girl leaving her feeling that there is no other option but abortion. Juno is a good movie just to sit down for a laugh but it also presents a good message!

I feel Focus on the Family did not represent the movie in an accurate way, I just wish that they could realize that this movie has shown the light on teen pregnancy in a different way. My message to Focus on the Family is this; instead of writing bad reviews on Juno make a "Christian Juno" movie if you feel that strongly!! It makes me angry that a great movie like Juno is not good enough in the eyes of the Christian community!! Christians don't go telling your friends that this is a bad movie because it ISN'T! Focus on the Family makes Christians look like idiots writing reviews like they have in "Brio Girl" and "Plugged In". It breaks my heart that we Christians get so stubborn about the silliest things.
I do want you all to know that I don't think Juno is a perfect movie but it does show light on Pregnancy in a positive way. And for the secular world to do a movie with a pro-life message is amazing. We should embrace it instead of push it away because I guarantee the pro-life message of the movie reached at least ONE girl in this world!!

I hope that you enjoyed this post, please comment on my thoughts! And if you have seen Juno or Bella please comment me with your thoughts!! I love feedback!! Thank you so so so much for reading!!

Movie Watch: If you have seen "Juno", "Bella" is another great family movie to rent and watch! Here is a really short summary.

An international soccer star is on his way to sign a multi-million dollar contract when a series of events unfold that bring his career to an abrupt end. A beautiful waitress, struggling to make it in New York City, discovers something about herself that she's unprepared for. In one irreversible moment, their lives are turned upside down... until a simple gesture of kindness brings them both together, turning an ordinary day to an unforgettable experience.

Judgemental People: Part 2

Alright, so yesterday I left a quick note about how I really don't like judgmental people. So I guess you could say someone did spark me into wanting to write this, but it wasn't completely someone else. So to start off this rant on why judgmental people really get under my skin, I just want to ask you a quick question...Do you think you are better then someone? If you do, WHY? Is it because you can do your hair better, you dress better, you can sing, dance better, or you think your smarter, prettier, cleaner, nicer, maybe you play guitar, piano, baseball, basketball, whatever better then they do that makes you feel you are better person then someone else.

(Well just to warn you in this blog I am going to be using Bible verses and if that will turn you off to this blog I am sorry and hope you still read anyways. )

Alright when I get in conversations with people who ask me how do you feel about homosexuals, abortion, people who do drugs, sex outside of marriage, anything that is very disagreeable/debatable to today's society people will talk with me about it, ask me questions. And yes I do have my opinions on homosexuals, drugs, abortion, sex, and anything else that is a little in the grey area of what is acceptable and what's not. So many times I will give them my opinion, and if they find that I might agree with their opinion on an issue they will start bashing on the problem or a person that struggles with those issues. AND I HATE THAT!! People who judge anyone whether they are "emo", "goth", Caucasian, African American, Asian, Bulgarian, Yugoslavian, a homosexual, a drug user, whatever...don't bash them around me!! We are all human and we ALL make mistakes!!

Romans 3:23

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

Matthew 7:1-2

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

So no matter how holy you think you are, how much you read your bible, how much you pray, or go to church, you are not free from sin, UNLESS you have asked god to cleanse you of your sins. But still we were all born into sin.

On Youtube you will see there are soooooooo many Christians on there bashing on the homosexuals, the girls who are very provocative, or just people who don't have the same views as they do! And all these Christians do is get on there and start saying how they are going to hell, and how they are the spawn of Satan or whatever and it is just so dumb. I think it is OK to have a different opinions and views on things as long as it is in line with the way God wants us to think. But even the people out there who aren't followers of Christ and don't have opinions like Christ, bashing on them, and telling them how they are going to hell because of their opinions is ridiculous, and isn't going to prove them anything except that all Christians are judgmental A** holes. Which is what they think of us!! I just think it's funny that Christians think it's a right that they have to go tell "sinners" just how wrong they are, when really they need to look in the mirror and see, they are just as much of a sinner as the person they are judging!!!

Psalms 7:8

let the LORD judge the peoples.

As much as we might disagree with a persons opinions, believes, race, or their sexual orientation we have not right to judge them it is not our place...IT'S GODs!! And if they don't see that there REALLY is a God out there who will judge them one day, but dearly loves them, what can you do? You can still love on them, pray for them and show them through YOUR OWN humble actions who Christ really is. Think about it, if they choose to be homosexual, "emo", non-believers, whatever then there still is an empty hole in their heart where Jesus belongs, so instead of pushing them farther away from what they need, point them in the direction of where they need to go! You could save a life! God forgives our sins, no matter how big we think they are, or how small they could be God died on the cross for ALL of us and ALL of our sins!!

Jeremiah 33:8

"I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me."

As that verse says he will forgive all sins!! Today instead of looking at someone who doesn't share the same views and opinions on everything as you do, why don't you ask them why they are the way they are, and believe the things they do. Before you judge you might find that we ARE ALL struggling humans looking for our place in this messed up world. Some just struggle to find there place in different ways and need love....God's love! Be that love, share God's love that he has placed in all of us the day we became followers of Him.

Genesis 1:27

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

That person you are judging was made in the same image as you are, so don't be so cocky about how much better you are, because God made us all unique. And that's the way things should be, I believe people she not be ashamed of who God made them to be! So next time we talk, or see each other don't feel afraid to talk with me about any opinions you might have because I would love to hear them. But it's just when people bash on other people for what they believe, and does really REALLY gets under my skin.

Well that's all I have for write now!! Tell me what you think about what I wrote about...any questions you have feel free to ask!!

Thank You for reading this incredibly long blog :D

Short and Sweet

Ok I'm going to make this short and sweet because I'm about to leave for the night!! I will definitely elaborate more in a later blog. But for now all I have to say is...

I REALLY DON'T LIKE JUDGEMENTAL PEOPLE!

Alright that's all for now. Have a great Sunday evening everybody! :D

Ode to Caitie

So basically I made myself look like an idiot in my last blog, for those of you who read it earlier i spelled quit wrong...I spelled it quite. Yeah shows how much I learned in school this year. Well I have 9 days till I see my best friend that I haven't seen since last July sooo I am wayyy stoked!! We are going to party down like it's 1999, we've decided. But I just wanted to dedicate this blog to her.

Caitie Carwile has been there with me since day one. We have made it through some of the biggest milestones together like: Diapers, kindergarten, losing our first tooth, letting go of our bankeys (blankets), moving to new places, broken bones, boys, broken hearts, chopped off fingers! haha!, getting fried on the beach to driving!! There are so many memories I have with this laday! And it is such and honor growing up with her! Watching her mature into this now beautiful young lady in Christ is awesome!! Last summer was a huge milestone that we crossed in our friendship, after not seeing, or talking to each other that often for a couple years last year I went down to visit, and it was as if nothing changed!! We were just as close as we ever were, probably closer!!! And it was probably the best summer of my life soo far!! (this one is going to be better i hope!!) But OH BOY do I love her! She's the best and I really hope she knows that!! I love you babaycakes! B&F/TDDUP!!

To all you people who are reading this I'm sorry if this just wasted your time. But come on are we the cutest best friends or what!! haha jk! But you know it's true! So to make this relevant, why don't you tell me about your best friend!! Leave me a comment about you and your best friend. ohh and read my other blogs if you haven't already!! Have a lovely rest of the day!!

Peace!